


Where’s My Love

by Ljungelden



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Angst, F/M, Guilt, Love, Memories, Post-Here Lies the Abyss, Purple Hawke, Romance, Violence, Warrior Hawke (Dragon Age)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-17
Updated: 2018-05-17
Packaged: 2019-05-08 08:37:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,231
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14690430
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ljungelden/pseuds/Ljungelden
Summary: None of them wants to know what it’s like to live without the other. None of them wants to know the other side of a world without the other, therefore they try to do the impossible.





	Where’s My Love

” A warden must help them rebuild! That’s your job!” For once not a tone of sarcasm or charm could be found in the Campion’s voice. This time it was filled with determination and seriousness. Eyes which were bluer than lyrium looked at the warden. Why couldn’t the silly little man understand? The world needed him. The Hero of Ferelden needed him. They needed to find a cure. Hawke was only human, no one special. A simple warrior and troublemaker from Ferelden who had fled the blight like many others. Head turned, gaze falling upon the huge demon which, _of course_ , stood in their way. ” Corypheus is mine.” Words were heavy. She couldn’t let the bastard escape once more. She couldn’t let him win. It was all her fault. If she had only used her head when Larius had thanked her repeatedly... Dammit all!

It felt as if ages passed by while she waited for the Inquisitor’s decesion. How would it be? The warden or Hawke? Hawke or the warden? ” Hawke…” Marian heard the Inquisitor’s words and nodded. Fingers clenched to fists as she struggled to not show her chaotic storm of emotions. ” Say goodbye to Varric from me.” The tears wasn’t far away, she could feel it, but she needed to be strong for them so they could carry on without any more guilt, no tears could be shed. Not now. Feet moved, increasing the space between her and the others. Hand gently touched the grip before grabbing it, swinging the greatsword through the air. ” Spiders. Always the maker-damned spiders.” How many eight-legged bugs could there be in Ferelden and Free Marches? It was insane. Why was there always spiders and demons everywhere she went? Was it some kind of joke? ” Argh!” The sharp blade sliced through skin and flesh, breaking several bones. Blood rained down, touching the dark and dead ground.

Eyes caught sight of everyone leaving. She smiled towards the Inquisitor before they left. Alone, she was all alone in the Fade with nasty creatures, demons and spirits. Great! Suddenly, pain spread through her body like hellfire. Breath left her, lungs grasping for air as her body hit a rock. It seemed as if the demon had taken advantage of her looking at the company and thinking too much. Smart choice. It wasn’t completely brain-dead after all, but it would soon be. Grunting, Marian got up on her feet. Her body ached. ” Ah, just great! Broken ribs and dislocated shoulder. This must be my lucky day.” The giant spider began to approach her, ready to slay her into nothing but pieces. No… She couldn’t die yet. All of her friends; Varric, Isabela, Anders, Aveline and Merrill. Her family; her beloved sister Bethany, Dog and her shitty uncle. She couldn’t die now. They had already lost so much and only the thought of their faces when they recieved the news about her being dead… It was devasting. Then there was Fenris of course. Dear bold Fenris. He would go bezerk, he would be so lost (and probably empty every bottle of wine in Thedas). No, she need to survive. Determination filled her soul as a smirk appeared on her broken lips. Thumb touched red liquid on the ground, drawing over the nose, creating a simple streak. Hand grabbed the greatsword, picking it up as if it was nothing. She changed her grip, steadying her position. It was time to slay the maker-damned spider, once and for all. She could do this. She _would_ do this.

Blow after blow, it seemed to be a never ending fight. Heavy breathing as body searched for the last energy. Screaming, angry and frustrated, Hawke slid down under the Nightmare, cutting it up. Blood, bones and organs poured down upon the warrior. The urge to throw up was strong, but somehow, she managed to not do it. Her attention was caught by the demon who finally fell. The ground rumbled. Maker… She had done it. She had killed the beast! Exhaustion touched her shoulders, pushing down. Everything began to feel heavier and heavier. ”I did it – I….” Words came to an aprubt end when two of the spider’s legs moved. Was it not dead? For fuck's sake. ” By the maker’s breath, why can't you just not die?!” Legs suddenly stop moving. Oh… It had only been its’ last spasms. Body covered by armour and red liquid fell towards the ground, eyes closed.

Shadows which belonged to once living people decorated the walls, chanting her name as bodies slowly moved towards her. It was… No. _No, no, no, no_. It couldn’t’ be, could it? It was her mother…. But with other’s body parts and behind her were… All of her friends and Fenris. Blue hues widened at the horrible sight; his eyes were gone and his will to live had vanished. Black collar of metal decorated his neck. It was connected with a long leash and no one less than Danarius was holding it. Suddenly, fingers grabbed her throat, making it _slightly_ difficult to breathe. ” Mother… ” Voice became hoarse. ” Marian, my dear child, it's all your fault. All these deaths. Your father, your brother, me, your friends and the people you didn’t know. Look what you have done, child!”

Everything became dark and silent as Hawke's beloved mother’s grip became harder. Drops of water streamed down her face as eyes suddenly opened. Gasping, she looked around while tears continued to fall down, hitting the ground. Had it only been a dream? Head burried in hands. Dear maker how she missed them all so much. It hurt in her heart. ” Come on, Hawke. You can’t lie on the ground, crying forever. You ned to get up from this bloodbath and do things, like, find ingyour way back home or Fenris and the others will do drastic things. I don’t need a wannabe Kirkwall accident.” Marian couldn’t help but smile at the imaginary sight inside of her head. Her friends and darling looking for her everywhere and nowhere, fire, giving the Inquisitor a hard time.

Grunting and murmuring, she got up from the ground. ” I wonder how long I have been out… ” Every muscle ached, every breath she took hurt. This would be difficult, trying to focus with all the injuries. Beside, she had no water and no food. Only demons and spirits and other useless items. Marian sighed. ” Better start walking before I go insane.”

It felt like an eternity, step after step, but the view was the same. Green fog, rocks. Weird floating things. It was all the same over and over. Her hope shrunk for every movement she made. Woud she ever find a way out? Would she ever see Fenris again? Teaching him more about reading? The moment she was about to give up her eyes saw something shining. It was… some kind a mirror? Maker's balls! It was an active eluvian. It was one of those mirror thingies Merrill worked with!

Though… Why was it here? Why was it working? How? Questions and thoughts filled her head, making her slightly dizzy. Should she use it? Could she used it? Shoulders were raised before lowered. What could go wrong? The place on the other side could only be better than the freaking Fade. ” I’m coming home, Fenris.” A mere whisper in the void as eyes closed, feet approaching before the white light swallowed everything.


End file.
